Why This Blog ... In a Nutshell

Nature abhors a vacuum. - Baruch Spinoza

Not long ago, we were BDSM neophytes ourselves with nothing more than a desire to explore a new side of our rather "vanilla" relationship that emerged entirely on its own (more about that later).  For us it wasn't a matter of, "Hey, I'm curious about BDSM." Rather it was more like, "You know, I think this stuff we do sometimes is called BDSM.  It's pretty awesome, so maybe we should learn more."

Being rather studious types, we set about researching the wildly fantastic world of kink, but quickly we felt overwhelmed and stymied by what we found.  While there are plenty of excellent BDSM resources out there, most present BDSM as a lifestyle rather than an enhancement to an otherwise fulfilling life.  Quite simply, we never felt that any of them really spoke to us and understood where we were coming from as a traditionally vanilla couple looking to insert some hard-core kink every once in a while.

By and large, BDSM must be a deliberate endeavor for part-timers and 24/7 lifestylers alike, but the challenges for both are very different. While the 24/7 slave struggles to maintain his/her own identity while fulfilling the duties set forth by the Master, as part-timers we grappled with the difficulties of assuming our roles following days of a rather balanced existence. While a lifestyle Master sets his/her expectations and doles out punishment if the slave fails to meet them, what can a part-time Master properly expect of his slave during a scene since those expectations will differ greatly afterwards? While a lifestyler has a veritable tool shed of gear at his/her disposal, where and how does the part-timer begin in acquiring the tools of his/her trade?

We eventually did find answers to those questions as well as countless others, but it was a rather arduous process of deduction from the bevy of information that did not really to apply to us. We decided to make this blog to serve as a primary resource for others on embarking on their own BDSM Journey from a beginning similar to ours.